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Help! Wild Orchid please ::

:: Thursday, January 26, 2006 ::

There was a time when I was a truth-seeker. I got over that. Truth shifts and becomes different and is hard to hang onto because it is always being replaced with a higher truth, so I am trying to go for THE BIG LIE now. It's very American.

Please congratulate me.
:: wild 10:55 AM [+] ::
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James Frey, Oprah, and now "Night" gets in the MIX



Oprah must be pulling her hair out.

Now she has picked Elie Weisel's "Night" as her book-club selection. "Night" is consiered "a novel so real it sounds like a memoir." It was written in the 50s. So here we go again.

I know two "I pulled my toenails out with a pliers" writers, one in Chicago, the other in New York, who must be kicking their own asses for not calling their books memoirs instead of fiction. They missed the chance at becoming bazillionaires.

Part of the problem with writing, if you want success, is that you need to make it BIG. The BIG, outrageous story wins. So you "embellish."

Then comes along the fact-checkers and they screw everything up for you. So...here's the secret!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS BIG........perk up your ears (or eyeballs)......

Play out your fantasy on a template of reality. At least get the towns right, the colors of the prision uniforms, the streets...all of that REAL stuff that can't be changed, then make up names like Slinky and Wombat for your characters...you know NICKNAMES.Just say none of youse guys ever used REAL names.

Make it big. Men, and some women, really dig that hard-boiled crap..."I jammed his hand into the deep-fat fryer, a million degrees of hogfat, and what came out was a burnt bowling-ball of flesh."

Hahahahaha...fuck I should write the book myself. I need oodles of cash just like the rest of you.

Sign me up!
:: wild 10:51 AM [+] ::
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All of the sparkles of the Universe to all. May we ascend to a higher enlightenment. Glow with wisdom & charity & graciousness. Become what we are meant to be.
Happy New Year!
:: wild 4:05 PM [+] ::
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I am a Reverend. No joke. I have a certificate to prove it. I can perform wedding, funerals, baptismals, divorces, house blessings...all sorts of rites. The idea is that 1. I am to do no harm and 2.I am to protect the freedom of religion.
I am primarily interested in performing baptismals at lakes where I can dunk people and give them a whole new chance at life as a new person. I also like the idea that I can absolve people from their sins. I can unchain them from some stupid indescrestion. Catholics have that option so why not all of us?
So as you can see I am happy and I am at your service!
:: wild 9:42 AM [+] ::
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Don’t Go Into The Forest

It was huge, about the size of an M & M peanut, and blue, actually a bluish gray like designer’s call Federal Blue, and had tiny legs, six of them so it had to be an insect, not an arachnid. It lay there on it’s back unable to upright itself no matter how fast those teeny dirty yellow legs churned. It did get the rear up, still not enough hydraulics.
My brother had spilled it out of an old prescription bottle onto a bench. He asked, “Now what kind of bug is that that it can’t even upright itself? Why would God create such a thing? How could the species survive?, he paused, Do you know what it is?”
It looked impossible, but there are many impossible-looking animals like dashhounds that often get broken backs from the too long body on little stumpy legs, a daddy longlegs walking on stilts, and how does a walrus eat with those tusks?
I have read Darwin’s book on plants and have first-hand experience with the magic of hydraulics.
I didn’t have a clue.
It’s a tick, an engorged tick.
Oh god, my stomach flip-flopped.
So that is what started my investigation into tickworld.
Ticks do not, as commonly believed, live in trees. They are only on the ground, hanging out in leaves. They can’t fly either. They do walk a lot though, so you can find three of them wandering around on the screen door as I did out at the Mississippi bluff house.
Watch out here he comes>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
First the tick emits a cement so she will stay attached, then she adds an anticoagulant so the blood flows freely, and a spritz of antihistimine so it doesn’t itch or you would know she is there and scratch her off. There was one other ingredient but it slipped my mind.
Now she sits there attached to you, a parasite. She’s just hanging out.
Two days later comes the BIG SIP.
Now the tick is fully engorged. Realize the original tick could be no bigger than a pinpoint and now it’s HUGE. Then it falls off.
Now it prepares to produce LOTS of baby ticks waiting for your next walk in the woods.
So basically my brother wore that ugly tick for 2 days! EEK! It fell off on the carpet in the bedroom.
Ticks are not only grimy little parasites, they are dangerous. They carry disease. Wood ticks aren’t too bad (those are the large brown ones.) But deer ticks (the pinpoints) carry Lyme disease. I think they were first discovered in Lyme, Connecticut hence the name.
Basically they can kill you. You can have the disease for a long time before you know it. Look for a red circle, that’s a clue. But there may be no clues beyond muscle ache and then one day you can walk.
If you find a tick attached to your flesh, take a fine tweezers, grab the head and pull out slowly and precisely.
If you have a deer tick engorged and laying on your bedroom carpet, get antibiotics.
If you are a morel hunter like me, you need to take precautions. Wear camo clothes, they are thick, and pull your socks up over the pant bottoms. Spray with tick spray.
Happy hunting!





:: wild 1:26 PM [+] ::
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There are many ways to drown. I will tell you when I hit the river silt. Still floating for now.
:: wild 2:46 PM [+] ::
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blog is iggy 2night hee :)
:: wild 2:02 AM [+] ::
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Corporations beg (get incentives) from governments. Most businesses beg you to buy via ads. I just beg forthright.
:: wild 2:01 AM [+] ::
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Corporations beg money (incentives) from governments. Businesses beg you to buy via ads. I just beg forthright.
:: wild 1:58 AM [+] ::
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New on eBay this week:
Condom Doll
Black Americana Vintage Collection
3 ARTWORDS paintings
Outsider Art Brooch

:: wild 12:06 AM [+] ::
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